Ok, I want people's advice on this one, so I hope it gets read!
There is a game in life where you have to work to get ahead. I'm not stupid, I know it is out there and have often played it, to be honest, often lose too. This is the game where you may have to put more effort in doing things you might not believe needs to be done, but know that if you do, you can get to the top. It means using people or "networking" to get ahead. Many people play this game, it sometimes involves thinking of yourself more than others. It can also involve hurting others feelings.
So I have recently been in the position to play the game. What makes it complicated is that this time it involves my daughter. I know I played the game some, I got involved in conversations and tried playing. I chose at a point to stop playing or playing so hard, and I thought in the end, the long term, not playing, it would be okay?
Now I am in a position seeing my daughter upset....again and it is because I did not play the game as hard as I knew I could. Should I have played harder? There was no gurantee that if I did, I would have won and my daughter would have been on top. Like I said, I'm not very good at the game, never was very competitive ;) I don't believe I would have had to do anything dishonest (which some people have done in this game) or throw anyone under the bus. All I had to do was fight harder, maybe what I believe as true in the backlines and go with the flow. I believed that in the end right would triumph wrong. Heck, in the long run, it might. Just feels crummy right now.
So I guess the question is, when it comes to your child, is it worth putting your beliefs aside to further your child. In my heart, I know the answer is no. Even if it is a small game that seems so big right now, I believe the answer is no. I don't know if I'm right and don't feel great, but I'm hoping in the end it all works out.
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Karen,
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to see your child not blissfully happy all the time, but it is part of life. The important thing is to stick with your beliefs, after all, you are modeling the kind of woman you want your daughter to be. If you don't want to teach her that it's okay to use people, and you want to teach her that your beliefs are worth standing up for, even if it means that you have short term disappointments, you have to lead by example. Right will triumph over wrong...just not always in the way you hope or imagine, and sometimes not even how you intend it to. Just be yourself, be true to what you believe, and give your daughter a big hug!
Noelle
Karen, you stood strong through out this whole process...you didn't get mixed up in all the drama...you were the best role model for Lexie....Lexie's soccer skills speak for her....anyone that doesn't see that is foolish....she just wants to play..just remember they will all have to try out next year....she will prove herself then and now.....I love you and know you made the best decision for Lexie...I know its hard.....it will work out in the end...just sit back and relax and put it in God's hands.!!!
ReplyDeleteAndrea
Oh, Karen, I can be surprisingly ferocious when it comes to my boys, so I know the doubt you must be feeling, but I have to agree with Noelle and Andy on this one. It would be so hard to encourage Lexie in one attitude of the heart when she has seen you act otherwise. I don't know the situation, but it sounds like you listened to the Holy Spirit and stuck to your morals when really the easy route would have been to make your sweet girl happy. She may be upset now, but I know (and us moms have to believe!) that in the future and when it matters, she'll know how to make right decisions because she saw you do the same...even when it was hard. You hang in there, friend.
ReplyDeleteThanks Girls! Andy, I so appreciate you listening to all this craziness. Christy and Noelle, I know you know how I feel. I hate seeing my child have to go through this. I know it will continue happening though, and I only hope my child remembers the things I handled well and will forget the bad things I do :)
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