Choose to set a goal, don't be complacent in your life...

Happy New Year!

I've come to realize I'm not the best at keeping up with blogging. I may need to set some goals so that I write more than once every few months! Speaking of goals...

I was asked over my winter break what my goals for 2011 were. I was taken by surprise, because I hadn't even thought about it. My first thought was, I'm blessed. My life is good, I am happy. I told her that I really didn't have any, that I was great and couldn't think of a thing.

Until I started thinking. As I am being challenged by my good friends to read the Word daily and to do a Beth Moore study on Daniel, and I did some reading while on break, I realized that I made a mistake by saying that I didn't have any goals. I remembered "pride goes before the fall" and also how I am always asking my students to have goals in their life. I remember how one student could not think of a single thing she could be when she grew up. This made me so sad because I felt that she had nothing to work for or look forward to. I mean, everyone should have something they want to be when they grow up, even when they "grow up!"

As I get older, and I read a lot of books (I love to read), I realize that many of the woman characters that I read about, realize that they have lost themselves. As they have gotten older they have become a wife and mother and let that consume them. I know they are just characters, but many of these books are New York bestsellers or at least New York bestseller authors. This means many people read them, because they can relate to them. I wonder if many of these woman characters, that so many ladies relate to, had stop making goals for themselves. Once they met that goal of finding their mate, that perfect career, or raising their children, they forgot to set new goals, and lost a little, or a lot of themself. You are never to old to make a goal for yourself.

So choose a goal for the new year. Choose a goal when you have nothing to do or you are bored. Choose a goal for yourself when you are doing fine and you need think there is nothing else you need in your life...I bet if you really sat down and thought about it, you could think of something.

Choose whether or not "No" means "No"

This is a new choice I am learning, just now when I am in my thirties. All my life, when told "no", I took the answer and moved on. I was then left with the feeling of sadness, anger, or disappointment. I have learned recently that "no" doesn't always mean that.

Now, I think there is a fine line that you have to be careful about when you choose to fight the answer given to you. There are definately times where it is not worth your time or relationships to fight for what you want, so you need to think real hard. However, if you have taken the time to think it through, you are not happy with the reply given, and strongly believe in fighting the answer (or it won't be a big deal to try to change the situation); I'm learning, go for it! Remember it is a gamble, you may fight for a different outcome and still get the same answer as before, but you may not.

There are some people who have this one down! In all honesty, some of them know how to "work it" so well, it almost annoys me. I am learning though, that by actually fighting for some things that won't hurt anyone, it can come out to benefit you. So, don't always take the answer "no" as the end and that is final....you just might find out otherwise.

Choose to Play the Game or Not?

Ok, I want people's advice on this one, so I hope it gets read!

There is a game in life where you have to work to get ahead. I'm not stupid, I know it is out there and have often played it, to be honest, often lose too. This is the game where you may have to put more effort in doing things you might not believe needs to be done, but know that if you do, you can get to the top. It means using people or "networking" to get ahead. Many people play this game, it sometimes involves thinking of yourself more than others. It can also involve hurting others feelings.

So I have recently been in the position to play the game. What makes it complicated is that this time it involves my daughter. I know I played the game some, I got involved in conversations and tried playing. I chose at a point to stop playing or playing so hard, and I thought in the end, the long term, not playing, it would be okay?

Now I am in a position seeing my daughter upset....again and it is because I did not play the game as hard as I knew I could. Should I have played harder? There was no gurantee that if I did, I would have won and my daughter would have been on top. Like I said, I'm not very good at the game, never was very competitive ;) I don't believe I would have had to do anything dishonest (which some people have done in this game) or throw anyone under the bus. All I had to do was fight harder, maybe what I believe as true in the backlines and go with the flow. I believed that in the end right would triumph wrong. Heck, in the long run, it might. Just feels crummy right now.

So I guess the question is, when it comes to your child, is it worth putting your beliefs aside to further your child. In my heart, I know the answer is no. Even if it is a small game that seems so big right now, I believe the answer is no. I don't know if I'm right and don't feel great, but I'm hoping in the end it all works out.

Choose to not take it personally or be too sensitive

This is another hard one for me, especially those who know me! I am a person who is way too sensitive, have been all my life. Not that being sensitive is a bad thing! But, too much of it can make your life less enjoyable!

I believe there are times in my life that I am over sensitive from a comment or action and I take personally and am hurt! Even worse, I am sometimes angry. Anger never helps anything and only creates drama. Drama also comes with the being very sensitive and taking things personally. Drama is subject for later.

Bottom line, I truly believe (and hope) that most people are not out there thinking of how they can hurt your feelings! Therefore, when you hear a comment or action that hurts you, you have options. You can get angry (really doesn't help, only wastes your time), you can confront (do this if it a true friend and worth it) so you make your relationship stronger by understanding each other better, or you can let it slide (don't be a pushover though, unfortunately there really are some that are mean, and if it continues to happen, learn your lesson and stay away).

So in the end, think good of people. Give people the benefit of the doubt and let the words or action go by. I believe we are a society that struggles with thinking before we speak (I am guilty of it too). Know that sometimes things are done without evil intentions. Believe in the good :)

Choose Never to Say "Never"

I have in my life, said "never" on occasion, and I am amazed when I find myself in a position where I'm having to look at myself and admit I should not have said "never!"

It makes me think of the times when we were growing up, or when I am telling my own children, don't say "hate", you may say "dislike", but don't say "hate!" Well, don't say "never", you may mean well, may even really believe it, but don't say "never!"

So today I find myself in a position where I really want to say "never!" Yet I know that I have been in these situations before, and "never" meant, not for a long time. I feel as if later down the road something may have changed and all of a sudden, I'm doing my "never." Not only do I find myself regretting saying "I will never...", but others remember my "never" and my own children will have reason to ponder, didn't mom say "never?"

It goes along with the don't threaten your child with a consequence if you know you won't follow through. I've done that before too :) Of course that's a whole different story... It all comes in learning lessons and choices you make in your life.

Thankfully I have a God that is forgiving and knows that my "nevers" mean, not at this moment! Can you imagine if we were kept accountable of all the times we have said "never?" Yikes, hope noone is keeping count of mine!

So, today I feel as if I want to say "never!", but I won't. I have learned my lessons, and I know that my "never", may one day in my future be a possiblity. So I'm going to say I will have to think and pray hard about it, but, I'm not saying "never", because only God knows ;)

Choose not to Keep Score, it will only Hurt You

I haven't been able to write anything because I've chosen to be annoyed lately. Sometimes people annoy me and I sit and think about it, more than I should! It may be something said, done, or observed and I chose to let it bug me. Not a good idea. All it has done, was make me unhappy, judgmental, angry, or agitated, nothing I am proud of.

So one of my goals in life is, to not keep score of others around me. I know it may be hard if you have that competitive spirit in you, but remember that you may be the only one competing! To me, that assures you some loss. Whether it be loss of time, friends, or emotions on something that does not make much of a difference in the long run. Or it may make a difference in the long run, because if choosen to let it bother you, it can become poisonous inside; consuming your time and energy.

Life is too short! If we spend our time thinking about how others may have hurt us, done something wrong, not done enough for you, whatever it is that is bugging you, you waste time that you could be enjoying with your husband, children, family or friends. Think how pleasant life could be if we thought of the blessings God has given us.

I started writing this entry the other day and decided to choose to enjoy more of my life by not worrying, getting annoyed, keeping score, or dwelling on others actions and I have enjoyed the extra time I have had. I'm definately not perfect, I did catch myself talking about others, and all I can say is that it only made me feel bad at the end of the day. There's no reason for that! Decide to dwell on the simple and good things in life....there is a lot of that out there!

Choose what You want to Be when You Grow Up

What did you want to be when you grew up? Growing up, I pretended to be a doctor, mommy, banker, singer, dancer, or teacher. My goals, passions, and wants changed as I grew up, but I always knew I wanted to be a mommy and teacher. What a blessing to me that I got to be both! Now when I grow up, I want to be a writer, perhaps a professor, and a grandmother. I chuckle because my daughters are 9, 6, and 4, but the thought does make me smile and time does go by fast.

I truly believe it is important to always be thinking and wondering what it is you want to be when you grow up. I was saddened when I asked this of my fourth grade students my first year of teaching and I had a student who could honestly not think of a single thing she might want to do when she grew up. There was nothing, she was at a blank. This surprised me, because it is when you are young that you are fearless and want to be everything! I was also touched when I had a student write about wanting to be a dad. Wow, that got me at my heartstrings, can you imagine the role model he must have had?

So choose what you want to be when you grow up and know that it is never too late to grow up! I have a friend who became a teacher after her babies, her husband a police officer. After over 10 years on the force, he decided he wanted to be a doctor. He is going through medical school right now at the top of his class and in his late thirties. My OBGYN that delivered all of my girls became a doctor after all her girls were grown! Awesome! It doesn't matter how old you are, or how many times you change your mind, it is your future, so think about it and make it happen!

It is when you know what you want to be when you grow up that you can make new goals for your life and can be excited for your future. So whether it be a vet and/or soccer player (what oldest wants to be), a babysitter (what the youngest wants to be), or an art teacher, so that she can wear a smock, (what the middle one wants to be) think about it...what do you want to be when you grow up?