Choose whether or not "No" means "No"

This is a new choice I am learning, just now when I am in my thirties. All my life, when told "no", I took the answer and moved on. I was then left with the feeling of sadness, anger, or disappointment. I have learned recently that "no" doesn't always mean that.

Now, I think there is a fine line that you have to be careful about when you choose to fight the answer given to you. There are definately times where it is not worth your time or relationships to fight for what you want, so you need to think real hard. However, if you have taken the time to think it through, you are not happy with the reply given, and strongly believe in fighting the answer (or it won't be a big deal to try to change the situation); I'm learning, go for it! Remember it is a gamble, you may fight for a different outcome and still get the same answer as before, but you may not.

There are some people who have this one down! In all honesty, some of them know how to "work it" so well, it almost annoys me. I am learning though, that by actually fighting for some things that won't hurt anyone, it can come out to benefit you. So, don't always take the answer "no" as the end and that is final....you just might find out otherwise.

Choose to Play the Game or Not?

Ok, I want people's advice on this one, so I hope it gets read!

There is a game in life where you have to work to get ahead. I'm not stupid, I know it is out there and have often played it, to be honest, often lose too. This is the game where you may have to put more effort in doing things you might not believe needs to be done, but know that if you do, you can get to the top. It means using people or "networking" to get ahead. Many people play this game, it sometimes involves thinking of yourself more than others. It can also involve hurting others feelings.

So I have recently been in the position to play the game. What makes it complicated is that this time it involves my daughter. I know I played the game some, I got involved in conversations and tried playing. I chose at a point to stop playing or playing so hard, and I thought in the end, the long term, not playing, it would be okay?

Now I am in a position seeing my daughter upset....again and it is because I did not play the game as hard as I knew I could. Should I have played harder? There was no gurantee that if I did, I would have won and my daughter would have been on top. Like I said, I'm not very good at the game, never was very competitive ;) I don't believe I would have had to do anything dishonest (which some people have done in this game) or throw anyone under the bus. All I had to do was fight harder, maybe what I believe as true in the backlines and go with the flow. I believed that in the end right would triumph wrong. Heck, in the long run, it might. Just feels crummy right now.

So I guess the question is, when it comes to your child, is it worth putting your beliefs aside to further your child. In my heart, I know the answer is no. Even if it is a small game that seems so big right now, I believe the answer is no. I don't know if I'm right and don't feel great, but I'm hoping in the end it all works out.

Choose to not take it personally or be too sensitive

This is another hard one for me, especially those who know me! I am a person who is way too sensitive, have been all my life. Not that being sensitive is a bad thing! But, too much of it can make your life less enjoyable!

I believe there are times in my life that I am over sensitive from a comment or action and I take personally and am hurt! Even worse, I am sometimes angry. Anger never helps anything and only creates drama. Drama also comes with the being very sensitive and taking things personally. Drama is subject for later.

Bottom line, I truly believe (and hope) that most people are not out there thinking of how they can hurt your feelings! Therefore, when you hear a comment or action that hurts you, you have options. You can get angry (really doesn't help, only wastes your time), you can confront (do this if it a true friend and worth it) so you make your relationship stronger by understanding each other better, or you can let it slide (don't be a pushover though, unfortunately there really are some that are mean, and if it continues to happen, learn your lesson and stay away).

So in the end, think good of people. Give people the benefit of the doubt and let the words or action go by. I believe we are a society that struggles with thinking before we speak (I am guilty of it too). Know that sometimes things are done without evil intentions. Believe in the good :)

Choose Never to Say "Never"

I have in my life, said "never" on occasion, and I am amazed when I find myself in a position where I'm having to look at myself and admit I should not have said "never!"

It makes me think of the times when we were growing up, or when I am telling my own children, don't say "hate", you may say "dislike", but don't say "hate!" Well, don't say "never", you may mean well, may even really believe it, but don't say "never!"

So today I find myself in a position where I really want to say "never!" Yet I know that I have been in these situations before, and "never" meant, not for a long time. I feel as if later down the road something may have changed and all of a sudden, I'm doing my "never." Not only do I find myself regretting saying "I will never...", but others remember my "never" and my own children will have reason to ponder, didn't mom say "never?"

It goes along with the don't threaten your child with a consequence if you know you won't follow through. I've done that before too :) Of course that's a whole different story... It all comes in learning lessons and choices you make in your life.

Thankfully I have a God that is forgiving and knows that my "nevers" mean, not at this moment! Can you imagine if we were kept accountable of all the times we have said "never?" Yikes, hope noone is keeping count of mine!

So, today I feel as if I want to say "never!", but I won't. I have learned my lessons, and I know that my "never", may one day in my future be a possiblity. So I'm going to say I will have to think and pray hard about it, but, I'm not saying "never", because only God knows ;)

Choose not to Keep Score, it will only Hurt You

I haven't been able to write anything because I've chosen to be annoyed lately. Sometimes people annoy me and I sit and think about it, more than I should! It may be something said, done, or observed and I chose to let it bug me. Not a good idea. All it has done, was make me unhappy, judgmental, angry, or agitated, nothing I am proud of.

So one of my goals in life is, to not keep score of others around me. I know it may be hard if you have that competitive spirit in you, but remember that you may be the only one competing! To me, that assures you some loss. Whether it be loss of time, friends, or emotions on something that does not make much of a difference in the long run. Or it may make a difference in the long run, because if choosen to let it bother you, it can become poisonous inside; consuming your time and energy.

Life is too short! If we spend our time thinking about how others may have hurt us, done something wrong, not done enough for you, whatever it is that is bugging you, you waste time that you could be enjoying with your husband, children, family or friends. Think how pleasant life could be if we thought of the blessings God has given us.

I started writing this entry the other day and decided to choose to enjoy more of my life by not worrying, getting annoyed, keeping score, or dwelling on others actions and I have enjoyed the extra time I have had. I'm definately not perfect, I did catch myself talking about others, and all I can say is that it only made me feel bad at the end of the day. There's no reason for that! Decide to dwell on the simple and good things in life....there is a lot of that out there!

Choose what You want to Be when You Grow Up

What did you want to be when you grew up? Growing up, I pretended to be a doctor, mommy, banker, singer, dancer, or teacher. My goals, passions, and wants changed as I grew up, but I always knew I wanted to be a mommy and teacher. What a blessing to me that I got to be both! Now when I grow up, I want to be a writer, perhaps a professor, and a grandmother. I chuckle because my daughters are 9, 6, and 4, but the thought does make me smile and time does go by fast.

I truly believe it is important to always be thinking and wondering what it is you want to be when you grow up. I was saddened when I asked this of my fourth grade students my first year of teaching and I had a student who could honestly not think of a single thing she might want to do when she grew up. There was nothing, she was at a blank. This surprised me, because it is when you are young that you are fearless and want to be everything! I was also touched when I had a student write about wanting to be a dad. Wow, that got me at my heartstrings, can you imagine the role model he must have had?

So choose what you want to be when you grow up and know that it is never too late to grow up! I have a friend who became a teacher after her babies, her husband a police officer. After over 10 years on the force, he decided he wanted to be a doctor. He is going through medical school right now at the top of his class and in his late thirties. My OBGYN that delivered all of my girls became a doctor after all her girls were grown! Awesome! It doesn't matter how old you are, or how many times you change your mind, it is your future, so think about it and make it happen!

It is when you know what you want to be when you grow up that you can make new goals for your life and can be excited for your future. So whether it be a vet and/or soccer player (what oldest wants to be), a babysitter (what the youngest wants to be), or an art teacher, so that she can wear a smock, (what the middle one wants to be) think about it...what do you want to be when you grow up?

Choose your Words Carefully, because they do hurt and are sometimes not Forgotten

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." This is what we learned and heard growing up. It should be "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but they will heal. Words can damage, hurt, and not be forgotten." Remember that words can be forgiven, but they are never truly forgotten, especially the hurtful, hateful ones.

I remember a shameful time in my life when I was in middle school. I wrote my elementary friend a note with words stating how we shouldn't be friends anymore, we were changing. In my mind, I was justified, I wanted this friend to understand why we weren't hanging out together as much anymore. To this day, I am ashamed of the words that I wrote to that dear friend. I believe she has forgiven me, I have asked for forgiveness, but they were words that I will never forget and am ashamed of.

Whether words are spoken or written, no matter how right you think you are to say or write them, be careful. Especially in this day of technology where people can twitter and fb their status. People write about their emotions, may not be the best idea. Think real hard as to whether these are words that will help, build up, encourage, inspire or will they tear down and never be forgotten. How do you want your words to be remembered? I want my words to be remembered for the good, not the bad!

Be careful when you are angry. In the book City of Ember, one of my favorite parts is when the main character's dad speaks of how anger can bring on unintended consequences. Words, when angry, can come out and be regretted. You may not realize the consequences of those words immediately, but they can damage a person or relationship. Sometimes when I am angry, I am silent, because I know if I speak, it will not be kind or pretty. Sometimes when I am angry, I scream (my poor children), I always ask for forgiveness, but I know that my sweet girls will remember the screaming more than the apology, and it breaks my heart.

Choose not to get drawn into the game of telephone. I'm most guilty of this. I'll talk to another mom and we'll get to talking. (I do like to talk!) I have to be cautious of not getting drawn into talking about others. Those words can get spread very easily and it is not fun trying to take them back.

So watch your words. The Bible says "For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks." Matthew 12:34. May your tongue be tamed for good.

Choose a Passion and Remember, People aren't Perfect

Choose a Passion

Whether it be Dancing,

Chickens,

or Soccer

Your passion will change as you grow, but none the less, be sure you have one. Having a fire for something gives you the opportunity to continually make goals and strive to become better or learn more. It gives you a reason not to lose who you are as relationships come and go.

Have a passion because people are not perfect. If you give too much of yourself to a relationship, you can become hidden and that is never good. I will tell you right now, people will fail you and if you put all of yourself into a person, it could cause you a world of heartache. The only perfection I know of is God. He will never fail or forsake you. He gives you desires and talents so that He can mold you into becoming the whole person He wants you to be.

So remember to follow your heart as to what it is that God has blessed you with. Be constantly thinking, what is something in me that I want to be passionate about...then run with it!

Choose to Remember the Past, but be sure not Dwell on it

The Ugly, the Bad, and the Good


I remember reading as a child books called Choose Your Own Adventure. You begin reading an action story and at the end of the chapter you get to choose what you wanted the character to do. You would choose and then go the page until you came to an ending. I would always read through those books over and over, changing to see what other possible ending I could have made for my character in the book. If only life were that easy!

The past choices made in life are so important because they are what have molded us into what we are today. I think it is so important to learn from the past, remember the highs and lows, but don't make those decisions take a hold of you. Don't get stuck wondering the dreaded question "what if...." about your past.

I'm going to start with the Ugly and bad memories, because I like to end on a good note... This world has so much beauty, but let's be honest, it has some ugly in it as well. I believe there is a spiritual battle for souls daily and have yet to see a pretty picture of a demon.

What amazes me, is the people who have been handed ugly and make beautiful. Are you thinking of the Ugly Ducking as well? There are things in this life that happen to us, that we have no control of. However, the one thing we do have, is the fact that we can choose to remember the ugly, but move on and make ourselves better, event stronger, in spite of it. I will admit, when I hear people talk of sad, horrible memories, stating it is the reason for all of the ugliness in their life, I don't understand why they wouldn't want to take those reasons and learn from them. Don't let the past be an excuse for present choices.

The good memories can be dangerous if dwelled on too much. Always remember to live everday in the present. The thing with good ol' days is we sometimes give them too much credit. We think of a wonderful trip, relationship, friendship, moment in our life and soon forget that they weren't always flowers and sunshine. Our maybe they were, but those days have passed and you need to live for today and tomorrow!

Remember those days fondly, but don't begin thinking that they are better than your present day. Nothing can be better than the present and future, because you get to pick how each day is going to end in the present and get to start over every tomorrow with a clean slate!

So remember the past with a smile, but then move on and remember how you to get to choose your ending right now!

My New Choice and Adventure

I am a child of God, daughter of two incredible parents, sister of many, wife of a man I adore, proud mother of three beautiful girls, teacher, and lover of life.

I have started this blog because I have been blessed to fulfill many goals that I had made as a young child, and I am now ready to start making new ones.

A new goal that has been stirring within me has been to publish a book, childrens or adult. I know, definately not a small one, but who knows? Since I am emphasizing writing to my students and it is not a strength of mine, I figured starting a blog could be a great start.

I have chosen the name of "Choose your own Adventure" because my current desire is to write about how the choices made in life shape the person you are going to become. Pretty simple, yet so important and life changing!

I think of the Indiana Jones movie quote of "You have chosen wisely" sums up another goal in my life. My ultimate goal is for me to live a fulfilled life making choices that will impact others to make good choices as well. Therefore, when I die and go to heaven and get to see my Savior face to face, I pray that I hear him say these words, "You have chosen wisely."

So in this blog, I will include choices I have made in my life, good and bad, choices I observe others making, and choices that I have to make in my everyday life. Big, little, and probably some silly as well. I will discuss things that I want my daughters to learn, understand and live by.

I do not believe that I am a person that is qualified to say what is right or wrong, black or white, or even a certain decision is the only one to make. However, I do feel I have been blessed by my Heavely Father, more than I deserve. This is a new step in my life that I can share to achieve a personal goal that has been put in my heart. Even if noone reads this, I hope my three daughters will be able to reflect on my writings and know that I am a woman who dreams big by choosing my own adventures!